So I kept torturing myself and kept torturing my thoughts trying to understand why all the sudden this fear is so strong. I was/am familiar with fear of death like probably most of you.. not all of us would admit it but let's be honest most of us would pee our pants in front of the gun. But this blog post is not about that..
So my girlfriend volunteered in the self-observation process by listing. I know what you think an endangered species - listeners.
(endangered species - is a species of organisms facing a very high risk of extinction. VERY HIGH).
After listening to me she said that we worry about different things depending on our age..It really got me thinking. What is different now. Why all the sudden. So I was driving home with all these questions in my head and it hit me. I realized I'm passed that phase worrying only about myself. I'm starting this new page of life.. creating my own family, my own home. That helped me to understand that it is not just some irrational fear it is a part of real love and appreciation of people we have in our life. Now I get to appreciate my family more and more. It's more about real things.
so I went from unknown fear to appreciation.
That is why self-obersvation is highly recommended.
this blog post is dedicated to my grandmother Stanislava who is still alive and has so much joy of life that could share it with you. She is the brightest person I've ever known.
I will never forget one thing she taught me:
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.
