!..fears

I think it was last spring.. I went to my friend’s house because she invited me over for a dinner. She has very tiny kitchen and really small fridge.. but what really caught my eye was a little yellow sticky on it.. There was a handwritten quote! I read it out loud:
“What would you do if you had no fear?”
Suddenly my friend turned around from the kitchen counter and told me that it’s her favorite quote! She was trying to explain how meaningful it is.. that we should ask this question ourselves each and every day. It seemed like she could talk about it all night long.. so I just nodded my head couple of times and tried not to get deeper into this conversation… till last night!
What happened last night?
It was already 3 am when my friend texted me to go for a ride. (..there’s no inappropriate time when it comes to a ride! If one day I’ll make a list of my favorite things – driving a car at night will be at the top of it ) so without any doubts I said YES! .. my friend said we can go wherever I want. I surprised myself but I easily dealt with a freedom of choice.. we went to a little town that has the Island Castle. To our surprise there were only couple small lights to illuminate the path to the castle.. but the castle itself was very dark and spooky. My wayfarer sensed my fear and started telling me about the horror movie my friend had recently watched.. when we went closer to the castle I was full of fear.. I could barely move. I turned to my friend and said: “No way I’m going around the castle” .. my friend hugged me and asked “Why are you so frightful?”….. .
All the sudden I went back to the tiny kitchen from the last spring!
“What would you do if you had no fear?”
It’s not a physical fear she was talking about .. I realized that the fear I’m feeling right now is too easy to escape. I just needed a hug..
But that fear from the little yellow sticky is a fear of life.. not a fear of death!
It’s a fear of failure… it’s a fear of being heartbroken… it’s a fear of disappointment… it’s a fear of being different… it’s a fear of being YOURSELF!
You are afraid to fulfil your childhood dream to be the best hairdresser/makeup artist/baker/photographer because your fear to disappoint your family or be laughed at.. is stronger than your passion!
so you keep trying to built a successful career wearing a dress suit.
You are afraid to be open for love cause you think you know the end of all your love stories … heartbroken! Your fear to be heartbroken is stronger than your desire to be loved.
You put yourself in a situation when you don't need an army to protect you ... you don't let anyone close enough to hurt you in a first place..!

We didn’t walk around the castle.. it was really too spooky and you know what? I let myself to be a fearful child .. full of fears for ghosts and fairy-tale creatures .. rather than thinking about my fears of life!

SO what would you do if you had no fear?

..balance!

.. it was one late night. . .. I was sitting and watching the ocean with my friend.. I was sad cause my summer season movie was over (I think that our lifes are like movies.. with a lot of episodes.. and I believe that the more charming actors/characters you have in your life-movie the more interesting it is.. but we'll talk about it latter..)! So i was really sad that my summer episode (TOW amazing summer) was pretty much over. My night ocean friend told me ..

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.. !

(original quote belongs to Albert Einstein)

so that's what I do.. I keep my life's balance and after my summer episode I'm back in Lithuania . ..
..open for new episodes!

..reproACH.. . .

Oh it’s been a while since I posted anything. … and I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I already had a million excuses what took me so long. .. (I had no internet access/I was working/I was traveling) even all these things are true I realized that if you really sorry there should be no BUT...! Cause when you say you are sorry and still share all your excuses that means you are more unhappy with the situation itself rather than with yourself…

SO sorry for my Silence!
I’m breaking it right here right now.

PS probably you’ve already noticed that visual content has always to complete my words.. I thought a lot about illustration for this post.. and I remembered this picture that you can see above.. It’s my brother! Why this one.. reason nr.1 I love this picture cause he is so natural in it.. that’s how I came up with a reason nr.2 Kids are so natural and sincere.. just like my apology..

.. . really good quote.. there you least expect it

.. so yesterday I was having a lunch. It's was very beutiful day. . . sunny no wind! I decided to enjoy my lunch sitting outside!
What was I heaving for lunch? oh.. just a regular sandwich with a little bit of everything.. . nothing too special!
no no.. this post is not about food it's about drink that really surprised me!!!
When I opened the bottle I noticed that it has a quote inside the cap.. there was an African proverb that I really want to share with you!!!

If you want to go quickly, go alone; if you want to go far, go together..

I'm always in a hurry..but I really want to go far! :)

... we think too much and feel too little..

... have you ever met someone who would ask you questions that you always had somewhere deep in your mind and you didn't even realise that those are the questions that you have never said out loud and only because of that you couldn't find the answer! (no question - no answer)!
...But let's get back to that Person who surprises you minute after minute of your conversation! all the sudden you realise that he feels you.. he knows you not because you've been friends since the childhood.. or you've been in a marriage for 5 years! You've just met.. he just FEELS you!
it's not a date .. it's not a job interview or an official dinner .. no EXPECTATIONS! it's just a random conversation with a random stranger.. maybe "no expectations" situation releases us from too much thinking! too much contemplation!
we are free to feel.. FEEL that person.. feel the MOMENT!

Allow yourself to be a blank peace of paper.. no expectations.. no "What if".. no "But.." allow yourself to FEEL it!

cause "...we think too much and feel too little !Charlie Chaplin! ... "

quotes.. quotation.. quotation-marks.. us

.. my favorite quote is:

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination"

.... to be continued

... I'll start with a promise!

.. my friend came over last night.. . well it's just a second time I saw her, but I am pretty sure it happened to you too.. I mean when you meet someone and you have so much in common that you just can't call him/her a person. want to call her/him a friend!
So I told her about my new obsession - .. Butterflies are for free!
(..to be honest no one knows about my blog yet.. I want to feel ready before I publish it.. you know.. opinion/criticism/appreciation... but we will talk about that later.. it requires a separate post :) ... )
Anyway.. she told me that there is a great quote about butterflies and the happiness! That if we keep chasing our happiness it will fly away like a butterflies! I thought it's a perfect match! ..emotions and butterflies .. that's my BLOG! So I used the mighty GoooOogle and found it:

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

..Henry David Thoreau...

I read it couple of times.. over and over again and I started debating SHOULD i post it! for some reasons i found it a little bit trite and shallow ..
Debating! ..cause with the first step of this blog I promised to myself it's gonna be me feeling each and every letter of it!
I keep the promise!
this post is not about that quote it's about me giving YoU a promise:
I will be myself.. everything I'll share with you will be sincere..

I will FEEL!

By the way .. all pictures that I use in this blog are mine! I love taking pictures...
I'll keep doing it :)

four letters B.A.F.F.

Butterflies in this case stand for two most important thing in my life.. some of you may think about butterflies..flowers..meadow!
You are right.. so first thing is puzzled out, it's NATURE! No one owns it! You can also "find" butterflies in your stomach..
EMOTIONS!
....

to be continued..